im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
