You're my little dorito
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
