you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Just puked most of my soul out..
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