This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize