I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I think im going to throw up on grandma
im holly from the hills drunk
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
