I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
