I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
