I hope mine doesn't look like that
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
