You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
