watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
