I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
