Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
