Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
