The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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