I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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