the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
