Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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