omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
