some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
