i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Randomize
