She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
