i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
