After last night, I could never be a politician.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
