did you get engaged???
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize
