Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Drake has all the answers
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
