So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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