I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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