New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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