I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
