I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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