Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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