Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
