quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
did you just send me my own nude
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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