whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
