Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
