So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
