I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Sorry my hands just texted you
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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