3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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