it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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