Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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