Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
is this the sara with the beer cane?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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