someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
