considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
