I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize
