If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
