Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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