he was CRYING into my vagina
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
