Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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