Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
