My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
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