My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize