Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
