His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Randomize
