have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
