those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
