that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize