How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
