All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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