The maid of honor just puked.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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