go do what you do best...puke behind churches
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
