Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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