My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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