Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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