Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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